University Applications

I've come to the conclusion that this blogging lark is harder than I first anticipated. I've realised the insignificance of my opinions and just how mundane my life is. My friend told me to just share what's on my mind...

Today I was asked why I want to study medicine at university. And, for the first time ever, I hesitated. This wasn't the usual, 'the word is on the tip of my tongue I just can't think of it' hesitation. This was a full blown 'I don't know why on earth I have applied to do medicine' hesitation. In the end I settled for giving the spiel I effectively learnt for my university interviews, and seemed to satisfy the person who asked.

In truth?
I no longer have no idea why I am applying to do medicine.
Perhaps it's because it's just what smart people seem to do. Generally, people think I'm dumb. I don't blame them!

Until very recently I was convinced London was right next to Birmingham (it isn't) and located directly in the centre of England (again, it isn't).

Even my A-level teachers couldn't mask their initial surprise when they found out my GCSE grades. My friends make comments about me being thick and I don't think any of my teachers realistically expect me to do particularly outstanding this year. Perhaps I just wanted to finally prove to people that I'm not your average airhead.

In my UCAS personal statement, I talked about being inspired by the way my Dad was treated during his battle with MS. The way the doctors diagnosed and treated him, and supported us as a family. Perhaps at the time this was my main motivation, in fact I'm sure it was. I saw something I could be good at and wanted to do. Somewhere along the way I have lost that desire.

Nevertheless, I have convinced scores of teachers, friends, family and even universities that I am certain I am going to make an excellent doctor, and that it is the only career my heart desires.

In truth?
I haven't got a clue. I have no idea what I want to do in September. I have no idea if I still consider becoming a doctor to be worth 5 years extra studying. I have no idea what my future holds.

Thankfully I have a God who does know, a God who has a perfect plan. And that is more than enough for me!