A Damsel In Distress

"The Lord will fight for you and you need only be still."

Exodus 14 v 14

Officially my favourite verse of the week!

At some point in so many films, a damsel in distress gets stuck in sinking sand. Despite the attractive hero throwing her a rope offering to pull her out, to fight for her, the damsel continues to struggle against the sand in her own strength. The more she struggles, the weaker she becomes, the more she sinks and the closer to her death she edges. At some point she has to stop and be still so the hero can fight the sand on her behalf...
This is the sort of situation I'm reminded of.
"Be still! I'll pull you out!" the hero assures her.


My understanding is limited, but I find this verse such a comfort in times of spiritual weakness. Instead of standing firm in your faith it seems you're (barely) clinging on by your fingertips. Instead of running the race set before us you're dragging your failing body through a spiritual desert, gasping for water and shade. You're weak from spiritual battle. You're being tempted. You're discouraged. You're failing.


That's been me this past week. That's me now, this second. This will more than likely be me tomorrow. I am so thankful for the truth in this verse. I am so thankful for the God who's fighting for me. I will happily be still.

Pass me the rope Lord...

Travelling partner application

As most people know, I'll be travelling to Kenya between 29th June and 9th August and I'm in search of a travelling partner for between 27th July and 9th August. There's a fun filled potential itinerary including a 2 day safari, a sneaky trip to Zanzibar or Mafia island, a visit to a tea plantation (very optional), 2 days volunteering at a monkey sanctuary and much much more! (WOW)


At this point, I can't really be picky about who comes with, but I've decided to suggest some desired (but not  essential) qualities:

1. Be funny (like a toddler, I need constant entertainment)
2. Not be annoying
3. Be a good napping buddy
4. Not too attractive (so that I look relatively good in photos)
5. Be a good photographer (same reasoning as above)
6. Have good taste in music (for the flight back)
7. Good singer
8. Not high maintenance 
9. Owns a backpack
10. Not afraid of spiders/snakes/lions/scorpions/other deadly animals local to Kenya
11. Not be a fussy eater (goat's feet are apparently popular Kenyan food. Yet to be confirmed.)
12. (MOST IMPORTANTLY) Be able to afford it.

So, I'm just going to wait for all the hundreds of requests to flood in...

Weddings

I've recently discovered that I'm one of the few girls who hasn't been dreaming up/planning their wedding (even the slightest amount) since they were 5 years old. However last week my friend Portia planned it for me, which is quite kind of her in my opinion.


According to Portia, when I go on my travelling gap year I'm going to fall in love with a rich, blonde haired, blue eyed Australian surfing instructor called Cruz. Sounds quite nice, if incredibly unrealistic.

Australia is going to be one of the first stops on my travels, despite rumours of their massive spiders.
I've always wanted to learn how to surf and it just so happens that (according to Portia) Cruz will be my surfing instructor. After falling madly in love with me and growing crazily attached to the Kenyan orphan I'm going to bring back this summer, he'll apparently spontaneously quit his job and join me on my travels before proposing by the Eiffel tower, approximately 4 months into what is essentially a ridiculously long vacation

Eventually we'll get married in Bali (my last stop), in an 'amazing' surfer-esque beach wedding. The guys will wear shorts and flip flops and there'll be surfboards stuck in the sand behind the minister.  

Since doctors are employable worldwide, we'll move to some exotic beach location where Cruz can open his own surf shack...

Somehow I know this will never happen, but planning it kept me and Portia occupied/distracted from revision for about 4 hours.

Revision timetables and easter assignments

Contrary to popular belief, I am an awful student. (Though I'm sure several of my teachers past and present can testify to this.)


Usually I just about scrape by throughout the school year, getting rubbishly average test scores at best in class and not fulfilling my potential at all. Yet somehow (to the annoyance of many people), at the end of the year, I pull out the high A grades my teachers expect of me with a relatively small amount of effort (compared to others). How? I'm  not entirely sure, it is certainly not deserved! But it is all by the grace of God and I am definitely thankful!


Recently I've been really challenged about my half-hearted, 'I'll get the grades in the end' attitude. God's placed me in college to be a student and so, with my previous attitude, I'm not honouring Him and not using the gifts (intelligence) He's given me.
I've loved listening to a seminar from the Aber 2011 conference about how to honour God through our studies. In the past I've been fooled in to adopting the mindset that I would be honouring God more by helping out in church and CU, by spending time in fellowship rather than studying. I've been tricked in to believing my studies were unimportant, that what I did almost didn't matter.


In truth God has placed me here, in Yale College Wrexham, to be a Christian student.
That doesn't mean that doing the other stuff is bad. Helping in church is great. Engaging in fellowship stirs my affections for Christ. But so does studying. Doing what God has placed me here to do makes me love Him more.


Anyway, for the first time since I was much younger I'm putting effort in to my college work. I'm talking actual, creating-revision-timetables-and-sticking-to-them effort. My easter assignments have been completed (almost), my revision organised and past papers printed...


Praying it will pay off, and that God will be showing me more how I can glorify Him through my studies.

Transcendent beauty

This is one of my favourite views ever, photographed by my beautiful and talented sister.
Sunsets must be my favourite part of the day. I suppose sunrises could be, but I'm rarely awake early enough to see them. A sunset brings with it the end of one day and the hope of another and never fails to stir my affections for our Creator.

The beauty of creation is infinitely diverse - cleverly displayed in the rolling green hills, boasted of in a child's mischievous giggle, magnified in the rising and setting of the sun as the skies are splashed with pastel pinks and hues of blue or burn with fiery reds and smouldering oranges.

This transcendent beauty is our immediate form of the eternal. It displays the generosity and power of our Creator. It reminds us of the beauty of Eden we never knew, yet know deep down our hearts were created for. Earthly beauties are reminiscent of the beauty of our heaven to come - where everything shall be beautiful and all will be perfect.


Beauty haunts us with eternity. And eternity is etched on our hearts.


'Beauty says, 'There is a glory calling to you'. And if there is a glory, there is a source of glory. What great goodness could have possibly created this? What generosity gave us this to behold? Beauty draws us to God' 
John Eldredge

My Mum

It's safe to say, like many other teenagers, I take my mum for granted. I get very used to her doing things for me. She makes me cups of tea when she arrives home from a long tiring day of work. She cooks my meals, does my washing and ironing. Mum doesn't just remember her tasks for the day, she remembers all of ours too, she's organised for  all of us!


Unfortunately it's only now that I realise just how selfless my mum is, and always has been.


Many people know that my dad had Multiple Sclerosis. This meant that not only did mum have 3 young children (who became teenagers) to parent, but also a terminally ill husband to care for.
As we got older, more and more of the parenting fell on mum as dad became too ill. I can't imagine how hard this must have been! It is well known that a mum's life is busy and hectic and full of responsibilities, but mum's was even more so.
It undoubtedly would have been a million times easier for mum to let dad be put into a care home, then she could have worked and had more time for herself or something. But out of her immense love for dad and our family she didn't. She didn't do what was easiest for her. Dad stayed at home, with us, until he died in November 2009. I, for one, think that's pretty amazing...


Throughout all of this I know mum has been constantly praying for us, her children. Constantly leading us to Christ. Always loving us, even when we were difficult.


I love my mum, for so many reasons. Her unique laugh (always followed by a snort), her sense of humour, her endless patience, the way her eyes close when she smiles just like mine do, her freckles, her hatred of cut flowers, her rubbish jokes, her amazingly godly example, her selflessness, her love for her children. 


I thank God for blessing me with such a beautiful mum.


In truth, I'm frustrated with this post. It's a bit pants to say the least. I can't fully portray to you how self-sacrificing and loving my mum is, so I'll just leave you with a quote I discovered today.

"A mother…by her planning and industry night and day, by her willfulness of love, by her fidelity, she brings up her children. Do not read to me the campaigns of Caesar and tell me nothing about Napoleon’s wonderful exploits.  For I tell you that, as God and the angels look down upon the silent history of that woman’s administration, and upon those men-building processes which went on in her heart and mind through a score of years;—nothing exterior, no outward development of kingdoms, no empire-building, can compare with what mother has done.  Nothing can compare in beauty, and wonder, and admirableness, and divinity itself, to the silent work in obscure dwellings of faithful women bringing their children to honor and virtue and piety." Henry Ward Beecher

Rejection

A couple of weeks ago I was rejected by Edinburgh university for medicine.
Now, it's no secret that my heart was set on this Scottish uni, despite hating bagpipes, kilts, haggis, the cold winter weather and the scottish accent.


However, I do have an offer for King's College London.
At first, I was pretty gutted about this. London is big and scary and impersonal.
People rush past one another in the street. On the tube everyone keeps to themselves, absorbed in their ipads and kindles, their own thoughts and their own world. It's not very friendly. No one smiles at each other as they pass by. Mcdonalds seem to appear on just about every street corner. The churches are big and crowded, very much unlike my home village church. Not somewhere that really appeals to me. It's different to my small village community, and I'm not a fan of change.


Fortunately, I'm pretty confident this is where God wants me. The more and more I look at London and all the amazing opportunities it will give me as a student, the more excited I get about September. I think it was partly pride that made me so upset. KCL is an amazing med school, in the top 10! But I thought I could do better, despite my initial UCAS application being very half-hearted.


God has really proven to me that He knows best. It sounds silly, but sometimes head knowledge needs a little push to become heart knowledge! It's like that C.S.Lewis quote I've written about, God is sending me to the university that is right for me, and not just the one I thought I wanted to go to. I thought I would hate the prospect of going to London to university, but in just a couple of weeks my mind has changed! Proving its' unreliability and indecisiveness of humans.


Either way, I am now very excited about September. My teachers are appealing Edinburgh's decision, but I think regardless of whether or not they give me an offer after, I'll be jumping quite happily on to the London 2012 bandwagon...